The Hole in my Heart
by rachel-fiction
Summary: Sakura has grown during the journey. She finds she is tired of traveling, and only she knows why. She chooses Fai for comfort. FaiXSakura fluff. One-shot.


To Sakura this endless journey to find her past was exhausting. Passing through each world, meeting new friends, leaving them behind and having to meet them all over again was emotionally challenging for the princess. She was sure it was the same for everyone else she travelled with. She felt as though she would break at any time into tiny pieces. Just please no more feathers.

In this foreign world, Sakura found herself hiding in one of the many guest rooms Tomoyo had in her estate. Everything was lined in a deep ruby fabric. There was even a claw-foot bath tub to one side of the room. The young girl sighed and plopped down onto the lush bed, fingering the satin decorations that draped over the side and pooled on the floor. Through their adventures, she failed to remember one thing in every memory that returned. The thick smoke that surrounded the person was aggravating. She wouldn't simply talk to a cloud. "Maybe the memory of that person is in another feather," she contemplated aloud to the warm room.

Startled out of her trance, a gentle knock came to the door. "Yes! Come in!" she answered. The smiling magician appeared, "Daddy and Shaoran-kun are going with Tomoyo-chan into the next city. There is a rumored power that was responsible for an incident there." Sakura lowered her head, "Why do my memories make such bad things happen?"

Kneeling at her level, Fai offered a smile, "Hey, Sakura-chan." Her green eyes locked with his golden one.

"Hey, Sakura-chan… It is not your fault. After all, your memories bring great joy as well."

A smile mirrored the blond, "Yes, I suppose they do." She took his hand, "thank you, Fai-san." He nodded, "Of course" and stood, "I am going to go take a big-kitty nap. This journey is tiring. You should do the same, little-kitty." She smiled further and nodded, "Okay."

As he left to change and freshen up, he sighed. There was never an instance where Sakura sounded so sad. There were only so many things that one could tell another to mend a mood. The harmful things that happened to those around her were all because of those magical feathers. She made it through all of it. And here she was, still riding alongside Shaoran and everyone. Fai choked; she was also growing up quickly. She wasn't a little girl; her curves had developed dramatically since they had first met.

My, what would Shaoran say if he knew what Fai was thinking? Moreover, what would he do? Fai smiled to himself, leaning against Sakura's door. He threw his hands into his pockets and gazed at the ceiling. He wondered where Sakura would be after all her memories were replaced. A smile crept across his face, a small glint in his eye. His country was void of human life. He had no need to return to such a lonely place.

"Fai-san, are you alright?" He opened his eyes to Shaoran, "Yes, just a little tired is all."

"Is Sakura-hime okay?"

"Yes. I was just checking on her."

Shaoran nodded, "I came to let her know Kurogane and I were leaving."

"She would be grateful," Fai smiled again, and began to walk towards his designated room. Shaoran looked after him then crept quietly into Sakura's room, "Princess.."

__

A nice maid dressed in a fashionable frilly dress bowed to Fai, "Fai-san, Sakura-chan requests your company at dinner."

"Is it dinner time already?" He said aloud. The woman nodded, her hair pulled back in a tight bun, "Yes, it is."

He chuckled, "Okay, lead the way."

The crew usually ate together. It was the first time in a long time that the two kitties were by themselves for a meal. Fai pranced behind the stiff maid. His feet felt light. His heart also murmured as it rested in his chest. He wondered what Sakura asked to eat tonight.

The maid suddenly stopped at a door and turned to open it. Fai blinked, smiled and let out a little chuckle after he almost collided with the girl. "Please," she said, bowing again. "No need to be so tense," he mused, "thank you." She bowed deeper as he entered the room.

"Enjoy your dinner!" she said very rushed and left the two in a closed room.

Fai chuckled. "She seemed very nervous."

Sakura giggled, stealing his gaze from the closed door, "Fai-san, aren't you hungry?"

He nodded, "Yes, Sakura-chan, how about you?"

"Well, let's eat!"

He seated himself beside her, staring at the food that was displayed. It was more than enough to sustain the two. "Did you pick the meal today?" Fai asked, reaching for the chopsticks before him.

"Um! No.. Tomoyo said she would choose the best meal for Sakura-chan and Fai-san," she replied, a little red staining her cheeks.

Everything was decorated with flowers. Fai chose a little round sushi roll to start. Sakura still hadn't taken a move towards the elaborate plates.

"How long until Shaoran-kun and Kurogane-san are back?" she asked.

"I don't know," he answered. He felt a knot in his stomach. A small wave came over him and his hands began to sweat. He smiled.

Sakura sighed, finally reaching for a sushi roll identical to Fai's, "Do you think there is a feather in this country?"

"There might be. Mokona did not react, but if it is father away, maybe Mokona didn't feel it."

"Yes. Maybe," she murmured, setting her sushi onto the small plate before her. She lowered her eyes and grasped the fabric above her heart as though she could mend it with magic.

"Sakura-chan?"

"Fai-san?"

"Why are you worrying so much here?" he asked, chopsticks in hand. There was no smile on his face though his eyes were soft.

Her eyes widened, "How can you tell?"

"Well, usually Sakura-chan is very enthusiastic. But lately Sakura-chan hasn't been herself. Is there something on your mind?" He reached for a sticky rice bun, losing eye contact and growing a small smile.

For a moment, she stared at the single roll on her plate. It was absolutely perfect. She wondered who made it in the back of the kitchen; who slaved away to produce any of the food on this table.

Her heart began to beat. A breath she didn't realize she was holding forcefully escaped her as she slammed her chopsticks down, "There is!" Fai smiled deeper, staring and waiting. He remained silent as the girl struggled within.

After a few moments passed, he reached for a few pickles, chuckling inwardly, "Did you want to add to that? I can understand if you are not ready to talk about it yet, Princess; least of all to me."

"Fai-san," she whispered, looking up, "Fai-san, you are the easiest to talk to out of everyone."

"Even Shaoran-kun?" Fai said with another chuckle. His heart beat strengthened. The sweat returned to his palms.

"Yes," she said quietly. He gasped, looking at her in mid-reach. Before she saw, he smiled deeply and pulled the wasabi onto his plate, "Well then, in that case, you can tell me. What is it?"

Her hand returned to her heart, "Well…"

"Is it Shaoran-kun?"

"I don't know who it is," she choked.

Fai's smile slowly dissipated.

"I—I can't remember is more like it," she added.

"Well, who do you think it is?" he asked, the gentle smile returning to his lips. Resuming her meal, Sakura huffed, "I don't know. That's it. I just don't remember somebody. And I want to find out who it is. I know it was somebody who I cared about very much."

"What if you never remember?" he asked, his solemn face returning.

"It is the only thing that has kept me searching."

He smiled, "That is very admirable."

"The only thing is I don't want to search anymore," she whispered, lowering her face. "It is like I don't care anymore who it is." Fai blinked, turned back to the plate, "You know, these are very yummy you should try one."

"If I cared about that person… it must be that my heart has also forgotten about that person who was so close to me," she continued, ignoring Fai's attempt to lighten the mood.

Fai dropped the little piece of rice bun onto the table.

A tear dropped from Sakura's cheek onto the tablecloth. Fai watched as it was absorbed and expanded into the fabric.

"I don't have those feelings anymore, because I have them now for someone new."

Fai swallowed, smiled hard and in his most convincing voice spoke, "Oh really? Is it Mokona?"

Sakura sniffed.

"No? Shaoran-kun, then?" Fai set his chopsticks down once more and lifted the girl's face, "Sakura-chan, it is okay to have those feelings." His smooth thumbs wiped the tears, "Now, no more tears okay? Smile?" Shaking her head she threw her arms around Fai's neck, "Fai-san, thank you."

"Sakura-chan?"

"Fye-san, that person who I care about—the new person in my heart—is you."


End file.
